Saul said to his armor-bearer, "Draw your sword and run me through, or these uncircumcised fellows will come and run me through and abuse me." But his armor-bearer was terrified and would not do it; so Saul took his own sword and fell on it. – 1 Chronicles 10:4

Today's Scripture Reading (May 16, 2022):  1 Chronicles 10

We struggle with the idea of the end of life. For most of us, life is a gift that needs to be lived to the fullest until the last possible minute. Physician-assisted dying is often a controversial issue, especially within a church that believes in the sanctity of life. Complicating the concept is the reality that death is also a physical necessity. And a person wanting to die because of a terminal physical disease is viewed at least a little more positively than death due to chronic depression or mental illness. The idea seems to be that assisted death due to terminal physical disease and as a result of pain might be acceptable, with a heavy emphasis placed on the "might." But assisted dying due to mental illness or depression is not acceptable, either because of the stigma we place on mental illness or because of the mistaken idea that mental illness can always be properly treated. And that if it is properly treated, the person can lead a productive life to the full. What we often miss is that there is very little difference between physical pain and mental pain. Both are very real. And, sometimes, both are very terminal.

The end of Saul's life cannot really be called suicide. Saul knew that he was already mortally wounded by the arrows shot at him by his enemy. No doctor of his time would have been able to put the King back together again, even if Saul could have made his way to some kind of medicine man. The reality of Saul's situation was that his body, either alive or dead, was about to fall into the hands of the Philistines. And there was nothing that Saul could do to change that fact, and his enemy was not about to offer a doctor to Saul even if one could make a difference.

Our contemporary conflict over end-of-life issues is played out in the story of the death of Saul. Saul asks his armor bearer to assist him in dying; to run him through with a sword. The action of the armor-bearer would end the King's life, but his sword thrust would only hasten the King's death by a few hours. The primary cause of death would still be the arrows that had already pierced his body. But even though Saul was already dying, the armor-bearer is not able to raise his sword and assist the King in dying. And so Saul decides to end his life on his terms. Even knowing that Saul is in pain and that there is no possibility that Saul would be able to recover from his wounds, for the armor-bearer, the life of the King is sacred, and he refuses to quicken his death.

Because of the armor-bearer's refusal, Saul decides to end his own life. Did that mean that Saul committed suicide? That argument continues to rage. The reality is that Saul was already dead. Saul chose this moment to die over the inevitability of death in the hands of the Philistines in an hour or a day.

But his armor-bearer committed suicide. He could not face his future, feeling inside himself that he had somehow failed his King.

Tomorrow's Scripture Reading: 2 Samuel 5

See also 1 Samuel 31:4