Tuesday, 17 July 2018

When Esau was forty years old, he married Judith daughter of Beeri the Hittite, and also Basemath daughter of Elon the Hittite. They were a source of grief to Isaac and Rebekah. – Genesis 26:34-35


Today’s Scripture Reading (July 17, 2018): Genesis 26
I have never really believed that romantic love has the power to “complete” us. For me, it is a Hollywood notion that long ago wore out its welcome. If we see ourselves as incomplete people waiting for someone to come along and complete us, then we will always be incomplete. The only way that we can build healthy marriages, and healthy relationships of any kind, is if we are comfortable in our own skin. That does not mean that there are not growth areas and things that we would like to change about ourselves, but that kind of fixing can only happen from within. Being in a relationship with someone is never the answer to “completing” or “fixing” us.
Having said that, I do believe that marriages, and relationships of any kind, with the wrong person can break us. Our relationships are more likely to bring us down to the level of our partners than they are able to raise us up to their level. There is truth in the idea that we reflect the character and ideals of the people with whom we spend our time. And I have to admit that I have met with people who are getting married and my first reaction has been “this is going to be a train wreck.” I wouldn’t actually tell them that, people in love rarely listen, but usually I am right.
Esau got married at the age of forty, and apparently not just to one woman, but two. There is so much that was wrong with Esau relationships with these women. First, he was a polygamist. Usually the fact that he married two women in such a short period of time, along with other facts from the story of Esau’s life of which we are aware, reveal that Esau had a problem with his passions. Esau’s passions ruled him, not the other way around. It is for this reason that the author of Hebrews labels Esau as “sexually immoral” (Hebrews 12:16).
Second, Esau was impatient. His marriage seems to have been done without the support of his family. It seems likely that Isaac wanted to make sure that Esau was married to a girl with a proper pedigree, one whose beliefs matched those of the family of Isaac and Rebekah. Abraham had arranged for such a marriage for Isaac. And Isaac, would do the same for Jacob, and it is understood that he would have liked to do the same for Esau. From a modern perspective, getting married at the age of forty does not seem impatient, but when reading the Bible, we have to remember that numbers need to be treated differently. The number forty in Hebrew thought indicates a time of transition and change. Esau may have been much younger than forty when he got married, but the use of the number forty simply indicates that there was a change in Esau’s life, which is very true. This comment about Esau’s marriages is the beginning of the story of Esau losing the blessing from Isaac that was rightfully his. Changes to the life of Esau were coming.
Third, Esau’s wives were going to lead Esau into sin. The Jewish Targums all agree that Esau’s wives worshiped different gods than Isaac and his family, and would lead him into idolatry; they were proud and would lead Esau into believing that he knew what was best, disregarding the admonitions of God; and his wives were disobedient, tarnishing the image of Esau and his family.
And through all of this, Isaac and Rebekah grieved for their son. They had wanted so much more.
Tomorrow’s Scripture Reading: Genesis 27

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