Please accept the present that was brought to you, for God has been gracious to me and I have all I need.” And because Jacob insisted, Esau accepted it. – Genesis 33:11

Today’s Scripture Reading (July 24, 2018): Genesis 33

Author Robert Jordan argues that there is a basic difference between the sexes when it comes to forgiveness. “Any fool knows men and women think differently at times, but the biggest difference is this. Men forget, but never forgive; women forgive, but never forget.” There does seem to be a difference in the way that the sexes receive offense. Men seem to get angry, maybe easier than women, but the anger also seems to blow past quickly, unless we are continually reminded of the offense. But Jordan might not be quite right. Men might forget but never forgive. But sometimes I wonder that if we remember the offense too vividly if we will ever actually forgive the offense. The result might be that true forgiveness is a rare occurrence in our human dealings with each other. Forgiveness might be an act that we have to address directly and offer freely. And once we have truly forgiven, then maybe the only merciful thing left is to forget.

As Jacob and Esau reunite, it might be easy to assume that Esau, at least, is a typical man. While Jacob has stewed over the upcoming meeting with his brother, it seems that Esau has forgotten the offense. He is happy to be reunited with this brother and to meet for the first time nephews and nieces that he was unaware he possessed.

But there is also an element of ritual forgiveness that is being played out in this scene between the two brothers. The gifts given by Jacob were a ritualistic acknowledgment of Jacob’s sin toward his brother. They were also a request that his brother views him as a friend.

Maybe Esau’s initial refusal of the gifts was a way of being polite. Maybe the sins that had been committed between the two brothers so long ago now seemed inconsequential to Esau, and he saw no need to accept the penitential offering now being offered by Jacob. But this meeting could not end without Esau’s acceptance of the offering. Jacob needed to know that his apology had been accepted, and that knowledge could not come just in the form of words. Forgiveness would be made tangible when Esau received the gifts that Jacob offered to him.

And in this culture, no one ever received a gift from an enemy. To receive a gift meant that you considered the giver of the gift, your friend. And this is something that Jacob desperately needed to believe was true. The reception of the gift meant that Jacob and Esau were not just brothers, but rather, that they were also friends.  

Tomorrow’s Scripture Reading: Genesis 34