I remember the days of long ago; I meditate on all your works and consider what your hands have done. – Psalm 143:5

Today’s Scripture Reading (February 10, 2012): Psalm 143

I have to admit that I have struggled a bit in my life with depression. It is often episodic in nature (rarely does depression get me in it grips for long periods of straight time), but for short periods of time, I do suffer. And I know that certain times are worse than others. If I am having trouble sleeping, which I admit is a constant problem in my life and has been a problem all of my life (just ask my parents), I find that my depression gets worse. I also struggle at certain times of year. Christmas and New Year’s is a hard time for me, maybe because traditionally I get sick at that time of year and because I sometimes – especially at New Year’s – get overwhelmed by all of the things that I want to do, but haven’t been able to accomplish.

And in my life, my depression distorts everything else in my life. (I feel like I need to pause here and just admit that there are a lot of people that suffer through a depression that is much worse than mine – I really do get that.) But one thing it distorts is how I see my past. I don’t see all of the good that has happened and the way that God has moved in my life. What I see is my failures – the places where I have fallen short. A friend of mine would tell me that the reason is that my past isn’t really my past. I may think that my past has been dealt with, but the tendrils of what has happened is reaching into my present – so my past is not my past, it is my present. And that, to be honest, is normal. It is the way that we all are.

The solution is really to continually turn my past over to God. Turning our past over to God is never a onetime thing, it is a continual task. The reason is that we actually sneak into the throne room of God and take our stuff back. It is like God has our most cherished possession, in this case all of our failures (and no, I don’t get it), and we want them back. So we come to the overwhelming times and these are the things that we find living in our present. And we wonder how we got that back, because God was supposed to be in possession of all that stuff.

The second thing is that we need to practice the good things that God has done. And we all have times in our life, if we will just look for them, when God has moved and things have gone right. But when we get overwhelmed, those are not the moments that we find. The good things that God has done are sort of like my car keys, when I am stressed they are never where they are supposed to be.

And this is exactly what the Psalmist, in this case David, is trying to do. He is rehearsing the ways that God has moved in the past, because he is overwhelmed and needs the reminder. And so do I – and we. God has moved! In the overwhelming moments of this day – just pause and remember that.  

     

Tomorrow’s Scripture Reading: Psalm 144