When King David heard all this, he was furious. – 2 Samuel 13:21

Today's Scripture Reading (July 27, 2025): 2 Samuel 13

Several years ago, I had a conversation with a father. Dad was upset because he had caught one of his daughters smoking. He had gotten angry with his daughter and taken the cigarettes away from her. And now he found himself in my office, telling me about his daughter's behavior and asking for advice about what he should do next. He was ready to ground her, but he also felt that maybe she needed a new group of friends.

I sat across from him, amazed at the conversation, and then he asked what I felt he should do next. I think I surprised him with my answer. My reply was, If you want your daughter not to smoke, you and your wife need to stop smoking. I'm glad you had a challenging conversation with your daughter, but the next step has nothing to do with her and everything to do with you. You need to change your behavior. You need to set a good example for your daughter and stop the behavior that she is mirroring in her life. (As an aside, I don't believe smoking is a sin, but it will kill you, and I do enough funerals without having to do yours earlier than it needs to be.)

Admittedly, my advice did not have the desired effect. My friend and his wife didn't quit smoking, but I think they did come to realize that they lacked the moral authority to stop their children from echoing their behavior. As a result of this decreased authority, they stopped trying to shape the lives of their children when it came to smoking, maybe because they were unwilling or unable to shape their own behavior in that area of their lives. And that was never my intention.

David is angry when he finds out about Amnon's rape of Tamar. And he has every right to be angry. Amnon had committed a serious sin against his sister. However, despite the seriousness of the crime, David does nothing. The reason for his inaction is probably due to two problems. First, David lacked the moral authority to condemn Amnon's behavior. Amnon had behaved in a manner that reflected David's sin with Bathsheba. He probably realized that if he spoke to Amnon about his behavior, his son would point right back at David and his sin with Bathsheba. At least Tamar wasn't married and Amnon had not murdered anyone to keep his rape secret. Besides, Amnon wanted nothing to do with Tamar anymore.

However, David not only lacked the moral authority but he also lacked the moral courage to confront Amnon. David had not been willing to say, "I know that I sound like a hypocrite, but my behavior with Bathsheba was wrong, just as your behavior with Tamar is wrong. And two wrongs do not make a right. We both need to repent and ask God for his forgiveness."

Instead, David chose to be silent, and his silence likely cost Amnon his life as Absalom takes things into his own hands and kills Amnon, avenging his sister's rape by killing his brother. The fallout from David's sin with Bathsheba continued to escalate.

Tomorrow's Scripture Reading: 2 Samuel 14