Your nose is like the tower of Lebanon looking toward Damascus. – Song of Songs 7:4b

Today's Scripture Reading (December 5, 2022): Song of Songs 7

I admit that I need to be more careful with my words. It is sometimes so easy to say something that we think is clever or funny, or perhaps even a compliment, but the comment is insulting. A few weeks ago, I made a comment I wish I hadn't made to the bass guitarist of our worship band. He is an excellent bassist with one minor problem; He rarely shows up on time for practice and can be up to a half hour late. My comment? Instead of thanking him for being on time, I said, "Hey, you look a lot like our bass guitarist, but he isn't due for another twenty minutes." I have no idea if my friend was insulted by my comment, but I know I should have responded differently.

Another damaging comment, this faux pas was not mine but belonged to a couple of men of the church, was spoken to an infrequent attender of the church. And instead of greeting him and making sure that the man felt welcome, these men responded to his presence with the words. "Did you lose a bet?" The words, meant as a joke, indicated that losing a bet could have been the only way he would come to church. In this instance, I know that the infrequent attender, the husband of a close friend, was hurt by the comment.

Many other comments are not as good as we might think they are. Never tell someone, "You're a good driver for a woman." You started out fine but lost everything when you added the last clause. The compliment tells the person that you have no respect for women drivers. Another insult we sometimes don't realize we use is the comment, "You look good for your age." It doesn't mean that you look good, just that you look good compared to a bunch of old crones. After all, I look good for an eighty-year-old. Too bad I am in my early sixties.

"I love your hairstyle; it makes you look so much younger." This is a compliment that I have received. And all it tells me is that I used to look really old, and if you are anything like me and get a haircut every three or four months, you know I will look old again very soon.

Every time I read this passage, it hits me that "your nose is like the tower of Lebanon" should have been a compliment that Solomon stayed away from, especially after so many other ways that he had complimented his bride. I want to add a "Do not try this at home" warning to Solomon's comment. Say that to someone you care about, and you might not get a thank you. (I wanted to say, "you might leave with a bigger nose than you started the conversation with, but I don't want to encourage violence.)

And when we begin to delve into the passage, it gets even worse. There is no "Tower of Lebanon." Experts think a mountain in Lebanon facing Damascus was on Solomon's mind. And a mountain would seem to be bigger than just a tower. However, they also quickly indicate that the side of the mountain facing Damascus is white and that it is likely that the color of the "Tower of Lebanon" is what Solomon wants to draw attention to, not the size or shape of the mountain.

And that leaves us feeling a little better. It is not that Solomon's beloved has a big pointy nose, just that it is white. I will let you decide if that is something that you want to share with your significant other on your next date night.

Tomorrow's Scripture Reading: Song of Songs 8