She said to the king, "The report I heard in my own country about your achievements and your wisdom is true. – 1 Kings 10:6

Today's Scripture Reading (December 7, 2022): 1 Kings 10

We evaluate people continually. Our problem is that we are finite. We have a limited ability to build relationships; therefore, we continually evaluate people in an attempt to understand how they might fit into our lives. Maybe surprisingly, it is not people that are like us for which we are searching. As I watch the people around me, I often find that similar personalities can't stand to be around each other. You might be deeply offended by this, but the people you don't get along with in your life are often almost identical to you in some respect. Subconsciously, seeing them is like looking at a copy of yourself. And what produces the revulsion is that you see the things in them that are negative about you. People similar to you become like a carnival mirror that magnifies the things you don't like about yourself. And that is not a mirror at which you want to spend any time looking.

Often what we want are contrasts. The romantic idea of "you complete me" is really what we want to see; that you are unlike me and possess strengths that I lack. (Let me add a disclaimer here – the idea of "you complete me," while very romantic, is also very unhealthy; it assumes that you have something that I need to be a complete person, which is always incorrect.) But that is not the only evaluation we make. We also evaluate the concepts of personal threat and, on the other side, the possibility of an alliance. Is there something about a relationship with you that benefits or harms me?

As we read about the visit of the Queen of Sheba to Solomon, it is hard not to think that Sheba needed to evaluate the relationship she might have with Solomon. David had been a threat to the known world, but Israel had been quiet since his death. From reading the history of Israel, we know that the reason for the stillness was that Solomon was gifted as a builder, and Israel's builder was working hard to consolidate his father's gains.

But just because Solomon had not conquered militarily did not mean that Israel had ceased to be a menace. Solomon's wisdom could turn dangerous if his kingdom were threatened. And so, Sheba recognized his wisdom and, therefore, his power. And the Queen decided to seek him as a friend.

Wisdom is probably the one thing we need more than anything else out of our relationships. And yet, wisdom is also the one thing we are least likely to recognize or accept in those around us. Wisdom will often pass us by if we are not ready to look for it. But Sheba got it right. She recognized Solomon's wisdom and honored it. And as a result, her influence was expanded, as well as Solomon's.

Tomorrow's Scripture Reading: 2 Chronicles 9