When Esther's eunuchs and female attendants came and told her about Mordecai, she was in great distress. She sent clothes for him to put on instead of his sackcloth, but he would not accept them. – Esther 4:4

Today's Scripture Reading (September 19, 2020): Esther 4

Too often, all we want to do is solve the problems of those close to us. And usually, all that we are really willing to do is address the symptoms of their distress. Think about it. A friend comes to you with a situation that is bothering them. What is your first response? If you are like most of us, the first place to which your thoughts turn to is how you might be able to fix the problem or at least the symptoms of your friend's distress. It seems to be the nature of who we are; at our core, we are fixers.

But, to our detriment, fixing is not always what it is that we need to do. Often, listening and being willing to share the pain is more beneficial than trying to fix it. And, what is often even worse, our attempts to fix the problem often make us look like we weren't listening to our friend in the first place. In the process of trying to fix the problem, we miss that what the people in our social orbit really need is just somebody willing to listen.

Mordecai goes to the king's gates in his sackcloth, indicating his state of mourning. He can go no further. But word gets to Esther that her cousin is at the king's gate, but that he cannot pass through the gate because he is inappropriately dressed. Interestingly, Esther responds, not by trying to figure out what has caused her cousin to be in mourning, but by sending him clothes that would allow him to pass through the gate. The clothes would let Mordecai go to Esther, but the action seems tone-deaf to the reader. After all, she must know that Mordecai has more appropriate attire. Something must have happened that has sent Mordecai into mourning, and new clothes are not going to solve the problem. However, having Mordecai put on the new clothes would make Esther feel better. She is fixing the symptom instead of addressing the cause of her cousin's discomfort.

Mordecai refuses to put on the clothes. He doesn't need the symptoms of his pain addressed. He needs Esther to come and listen to him, and to struggle with the reason why he was in mourning in the first place. There was something that Esther could do to help, but first, she had to be willing to listen to Mordecai, and not just try to fix the symptoms of his distress.   

Tomorrow's Scripture Reading: Esther 5