… then he is to take his wife to the priest. He must also take an offering of a tenth of an ephah of barley flour on her behalf. He must not pour olive oil on it or put incense on it, because it is a grain offering for jealousy, a reminder-offering to draw attention to wrongdoing. – Numbers 5:15

Today’s Scripture Reading (October 21, 2018): Numbers 5

“Stand by Your Man” is an adage that has lost its luster in recent days. Women who stood by their men, yes we are talking about you Hillary Clinton, Camille Cosby, and Melania Trump, have come under fire for their unwillingness to take their significant others to task for their behavior. Hillary Clinton was so tarnished by her relationship with Bill during the dark days of his presidency that, at least in the eyes of some, she became less likable and less fit for office during her run to become President of the United States in 2016. It is easy to dissect her 2016 campaign failure and blame it on James Comey and the FBI investigation, or a rise in global nationalist thinking, music to which Donald Trump was willing to dance. But the harsh reality was that it was more than just these factors. It was a perfect storm of things of which the “Stand by Your Man” philosophy of Hillary, in reaction to her husband’s infidelities during his presidency, played a part. In the case of each of these women, and many more, the “Stand by Your Man” philosophy is one way to preserve the relationships into which they are invested.

The truth is that the point that a relationship breaks down is at the point of accusation. This is probably why we try to avoid accusations of wrongdoing directed at the people that we love. We know that once the accusation has been made, the relationship is damaged. And so, even in the face of mounting evidence, we try to avoid that point of accusation; we try to avoid damaging even further the relationship that we hope can remain strong even through the stress of the current circumstances.

But, sometimes, the time of accusation does come. The “Law of Moses” specifically addresses this moment between a husband and wife. In this case, it is the woman who has been unfaithful. Her husband brings her to a priest along with some barley flour. Nothing is to be added to the flour. Both oil and frankincense were thought to sweeten the offering, and there is nothing sweet about this moment; there is nothing beneficial about this moment of accusation.

The law recognizes that there are two possible outcomes. Someone is wrong and is existing in sin. If the woman is innocent of the charges, then the husband is guilty of jealousy, and this is a jealousy offering. If the woman has been unfaithful, then this offering is a reminder offering that brings attention to that wrongdoing. But either way, the relationship is damaged. It might be possible to rebuild the relationship, but it won’t be easy.

I understand the Hillary’s, Camille’s and Melania’s of this world. And often our criticisms of them are often misguided. After all, they have more invested in their relationships than we do, and no matter what action they decide to undertake, they deserve our love and support more than our criticism. They do not share in there husbands guilt, but rather are the caretakers of a relationship that sin has left in tatters.

Tomorrow’s Scripture Reading: Numbers 6