Today’s Scripture Reading (May 12,
2016): Psalm 138 & 139
A number of
years ago I was in trouble with the ecclesiastical leadership above me. I had
argued my point and I felt that I had tried my best. I had made mistakes, but I
had also learned from them. I was comfortable with what I had been able to
accomplish; not satisfied, but then again, I am rarely satisfied. My dreams are
always huge. The ultimate leader above me was a man that I had served with in
the same church for six years. We had not always seen eye to eye, but I had
thought that we had always tried to work through things and that we knew each
other’s capabilities and hearts. As I sat across the table in a restaurant from
my former colleague and his lieutenant, they delivered the bad news. I smiled
and thanked them. The lieutenant commented that I was taking the news well. My
former colleague muttered under his breath “Well, he is now. Let’s wait and
see.”
I was
stunned. I looked at him and realized that while we had served in the same
church, he really didn’t know me. My heart was strange territory to him. A disconnect
existed between us that I had never dreamed was there. Somehow there is nothing
more hurtful than when it becomes apparent that those who you have spent time
with, and been vulnerable with, have never bothered to search you, and to really
know you. And now, years after that lunch in that restaurant (Boston Pizza),
when I remember that meeting it is those words that I remember. And the words
still sting.
David
invites God to search him and know him. To uncover any anxious ways, to remind
him of sins of which even David might not be aware. David was inviting God to
be in a vulnerable relationship with his God. And it was this desire that made
David a man after God’s own heart. It was not his perfection, David was not
perfect, but he was vulnerable, especially with God. It is the great reality of
our faith. We serve a God who both knows us and has searched us, and yet he
also still loves us
And, really,
what more could we ask.
Tomorrow’s Scripture Reading: Psalm
140 & 141
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