Because Joseph her husband was faithful to the law, and yet did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly. – Matthew 1:19

Today's Scripture Reading (November 27, 2023): Matthew 1

Part of our contemporary issue with reading the Christmas story is that we don't understand the marriage traditions of biblical times because they are so different from our own. We have moved away from those traditions, but that is our choice. And it doesn't mean that we are right and they are wrong. It just means that the practices are different. So, as we read the story of Mary and Joseph, there will likely be something inside of us that will demand that these practices are wrong." But the reality is that we do marriage differently in our Western culture. However, there are still cultures today that resemble the traditions of Mary and Joseph more closely than remind us of our own practices. And that is okay. Neither is necessarily right or wrong, just different.

It is likely that the parents of Mary got together and made an agreement with the parents of Joseph that their children would become engaged. But it is not engaged like we know it; instead, it is a plan to be married. When Mary got engaged to Joseph, she was likely somewhere around the age of six. Joseph would have likely been an old man of about twelve. And from then on, it is agreed that these two will one day marry and share their lives together. There is no such thing as dating or playing the field; the wedding is set, although not the precise date of the marriage.

There would be a betrothal ceremony later, maybe when Mary was eleven or twelve. The idea was that, at this point, Mary entered into a formal commitment to marry Joseph. The "Pledging of the Troth" is a statement of faith saying, "I will be faithful to my partner in the marriage relationship." In modern marriages, the pledging of the troth is presented during the wedding ceremony, although we do not always use that language. I have rarely had the language of the "Pledging of the Troth" requested by a couple with whom I have performed the marriage ceremony. In a wedding ceremony, the language is something like -

I, ____________________, take thee, _____________________, to be my wedded wife (husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I plight thee my troth.

In the case of Mary and Joesph, they are not yet married and not yet sexually active, but they are pledging that they will hold themselves sexually for each other. The time of sexual union will wait until the marriage day. It is now that Mary begins to call Joseph her husband, and Joseph calls Mary his wife. And, unlike a modern engagement, to break this pledge requires a divorce.

This is where Mary finds herself. She is betrothed, meaning she has pledged her troth. She has given her pledge to Joseph; he is her husband, and yet Mary and Joseph are not sexually active. And then Mary gets pregnant.

If you were Joseph, what would you think? It is obvious that a promise has been broken. We feel that a birth in a stable must have been a messy beginning for the promised Messiah. But, from the very beginning, everything is suddenly a mess. Joseph knows, beyond a doubt, that the baby is not his. I can imagine the tears that were spilled by Joseph as the reality of his situation pressed down on his soul. This was not what he had planned.

According to Jewish law, he could not go ahead with the wedding. All that could be done was to get a divorce because of marital unfaithfulness. Joseph could have gotten angry, he could have brought Mary in front of the Jewish law courts, he could have demanded that something be done, that Mary be punished. But instead, he decides that he doesn't want to subject her to public disgrace; he loves her too much for that. He will quietly get a divorce. It would probably mean that Mary would be sent somewhere else where she would have the baby and then return to Nazareth and the house of her parents to continue to live her life without Joseph.

As we read the story, we must ensure we don't miss the symbol of Joseph's love for his wife. Don't miss the forgiveness in Joseph's heart. We often remark about what a fantastic woman Mary was for being willing to go through this but don't miss for a moment what a fantastic man Joseph was for reacting as he did.

And no matter how you cut it, the lives of both of these people were wrecked by simply being willing to follow the will of God.

Tomorrow's Scripture Reading: Matthew 2