He had seventy sons of his own, for he had many wives. – Judges 8:30

Today's Scripture Reading (March 13, 2022): Judges 8

Czech writer Milan Kundera, in his novel "The Unbearable Lightness of Being," notes that "Making love with a woman and sleeping with a woman are two separate passions, not merely different but opposite. Love does not make itself felt in the desire for copulation (a desire that extends to an infinite number of women) but in the desire for shared sleep (a desire limited to one woman)." Kundera's words might be one of the best descriptions of the fundamental difference between polygamy and monogamy. And monogamy might be best summed up as a desire for shared sleep, a safe place to close your eyes and just experience the warmth and presence of someone you trust.

Religions sometimes seem to be locked in a continual debate about the appropriateness of monogamy versus polygamy. Some have decided that the natural order is polygamy. Communes are developed to support those who have decided to have multiple wives. Reality television follows the exploits of marriages consisting of one man and a few women. We explore the phenomenon of women who have decided to live in these communities with one husband but many sister wives.

The debate continues. Supporters of polygamy look to the Tanakh, the Hebrew Bible, and see the examples of polygamy in the stories there. But detractors of the practice, especially the Christian ones, search the scriptures for reasons to deny the practice. There are not many direct condemnations of polygamy, but Paul seems to indicate that church leaders should be the husbands of one wife. A literal translation of the verse leaves us with this command; "Ministrants -- let them be of one wife husbands; the children leading well, and their own houses" (1 Timothy 3:12 Young's Literal Translation). A church leader is to be the husband of a single wife, who leads their children and their homes well.

Another brick in the wall of condemnation of polygamy comes from an observation of the polygamous relationships present in the Bible. And there, present in the lives of such important biblical characters as Jacob, David, and Solomon, polygamy is the source of conflict and crisis.

Gideon became a great leader, and there was peace in Israel throughout the rest of his life. But while Gideon was a successful secular leader, he was a spiritual failure. Part of the proof is found in his harem of women and the conflict that grew out of the competing desires of his family. The presence of Gideon's multiple wives was partly evidence of Gideon's failure to control his own lusts and the pride of being able to support many wives and a large family. But in the process and the conflict that followed, Gideon likely lost what it was that he really needed. Someone he could trust and safely sleep beside.

Tomorrow's Scripture Reading: Ruth 1