Thursday, 15 March 2018

If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church? – 1 Timothy 3:5


Today’s Scripture Reading (March 15, 2018): 1 Timothy 3 & 4

A friend of mine tells a story of his Dad being forced out of his position. His Dad was a Pastor, and for some reason totally unknown to him, Dad had to leave the job he loved. Now, pastors leaving pastoral positions, either to go to a new position or to take a break from the calling is nothing new. Few positions are higher in stress than being a pastor of a church. Often, it seems as if you live in a fishbowl, with many eyes watching your every move. But, to the child, this move seemed abnormal.

Dad never talked about the move. He never told his children the reasons why the move was required. They simply packed up their belongings and moved on. Years later, my friend discovered the reason that Dad had been forced out of his job – him. At the time, and that period lasted through adolescence and well into his adult years, my friend was what might be described as a rebellious child. He was a troublemaker. And in spite of all the good that Dad had done in the church, those who were not happy with his performance had used this verse as a reason for his dismissal. Dad was failing at raising his son, so how could he run the church. My friend’s discovery, which didn’t happen until well after his father had died, filled him with guilt. He was the reason for the move that his Dad had never explained.

It sounds far-fetched, but I have sat on a board that proposed to use this verse in their pastoral search. And the board’s interpretation of the verse was that if the kids are not Christians, then how could this person lead a church. The problem with this interpretation is two-fold. First, we are a rebellious people, and some of us take longer to come to terms with our rebellious natures than others, and I am convinced that this has nothing to do with parental upbringing. And second, in the contemporary church, the Pastor is often over-worked, underpaid, and stressed beyond belief. One pastoral acquaintance admitted that during one stretch in his ministry, he routinely came home early and went to bed, a natural reaction to stress and depression, both the fault of the church. Often, the demands on the Pastor is so overwhelming that he has little left for the family. And that is not his fault; it is ours. As a result, the Pastor does not have the time or the energy to fulfill this simple command, to manage his family well; managing the church takes everything that he has to give.

But I believe that it also misses the point of this verse. There is a marked difference between the life of a Christian and one that has not accepted Christ. The demands of Christ are the pastor’s priority. And the Christian life is always first lived out at home. If a pastor cannot manage his family using Christian principals, then he will similarly lead his church. I believe that this is why pastors who lead their homes in an abusive way, even though their children might seem well-behaved to escape the abuse, will lead their churches in an abusive way. And, what might be even worse is that they will teach other men to be abusive. Pastors who have a low respect for women will carry that into their ministry. First, the flaw will be revealed at home, and then at the church.

But a home may also be managed according to Christian principles and still yield a rebellious child. And the true intent of Paul’s command here is directed at leaders of ministry. The only way our congregations will know how we lead at home is by how we react as a church leader. So, as a leader, we need to examine our home life and make sure that there is nothing there that would disqualify us from leadership because there is no doubt that the thing that disqualifies us will eventually be revealed in our public ministry.

Tomorrow’s Scripture Reading: 1 Timothy 5

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