“The man who hates and divorces his wife,” says the LORD, the God of Israel, “does violence to the one he should protect,” says the LORD Almighty. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful. – Malachi 2:16

Today’s Scripture Reading (September 5, 2017): Malachi 2

Jennifer Weiner in “Fly Away Home” makes this comment; “Divorce isn't such a tragedy. A tragedy's staying in an unhappy marriage, teaching your children the wrong things about love. Nobody ever died of divorce.” I am not sure that she is right. Some have died because of divorce, and although that death may rarely be physical (suicide brought on by depression that has a cause that is found in divorce may be rare, but it is not unheard of), there is often a death that takes on economic, mental and spiritual forms. The pain of divorce is intense, and sometimes the ones that pay the highest price are the children caught in the middle of the fight. While an amicable divorce may be better for a child than a fight-filled marriage, the truth that we don’t want to hear is that vicious divorce is often worse than a bad marriage when it comes to the effect that marriage and divorce have on the children. Divorce leaves a parade of deeply hurt people in its wake, and that is a message that we are simply not hearing in our contemporary culture.

Malachi, however, desires to raise the stakes. He seems to label divorce as “abuse.” According to Malachi, violence has been done to the very person who we have sworn to protect. Malachi directs his words at the man, which is to be expected in a male dominated society that regarded women as property, but that does not erase the meaning in our egalitarian society; it broadens it. We need to understand that divorce does violence to the other person in the marriage, male or female. It causes intense mental, spiritual and even physical pain. It changes life trajectories and rarely is that change a positive one. And all of the violence, both intended and unintended, is focused on the ones that we have promised that we would support and protect.

Marriage was never about us. If you are getting married because he or she makes you a better person, then break the engagement. This is not about how our partners make us feel. Marriage is our commitment to stand beside someone else throughout the hurricane force winds of life. And marriage is for life. Real marriage can never be viewed as a temporary commitment. Divorce breaks the promise that we have made. If children are present, that break in commitment is multiplied.

By the way, this idea of life commitment and protection is why the Christian church holds the idea of marriage as a sacred concept. If this is not what you are looking for, then opt out for a lesser form of commitment. But please don’t call it marriage, because anything less than a lifetime commitment to support and protect the one we are committing to is not the definition of marriage. It is something else; something that can only be less.

Tomorrow’s Scripture Reading: Malachi 3 & 4