We rejoice and delight in you; we will praise your love more than wine. – Song of Songs 1:4b

Today’s Scripture Reading (April 25, 2013): Song of Songs 1

There is an uncomfortable moment in most wedding services when the person leading the service asks the question - is there anyone present how knows of any reasons why this couple should not be joined in marriage. The question is actually a legal one. The purpose is not to ask whether anyone thinks that the couple is too immature for marriage or whether they are mismatched. If that were the reason behind the question, there would be probably very few weddings that would get off without someone speaking up. The question is legal in nature – and it finds its roots in a day before computer records when previous marriages and other legal issues were not easily known. So this question became common – does anyone know why this couple should not be joined.

In the weddings that I officiate, I usually do not even pause after I ask the question. I mean, who needs the tension. Sometimes tension can be fun, but not usually on the day of the wedding. While I do not pause at this question, there is another question that I like to ask those who gather at the ceremony. I like to start with the groomsmen and the bridesmaids and then move on to all of those gathered and ask them this – will you love and support this couple in the weeks, months and years to come. Because the reality is that this marriage has a better chance of succeeding if you support them and love them. The marriage requires the community that gathers around them if it is going to be healthy.

Often the Song of Songs is moved by commentators into the realm of allegory – and I am not saying that that is somehow an invalid way of interpreting this book. But I do think that we have to recognize that at its most basic level the Song of Songs is a love poem. The principals involved are Solomon and one of his wives – with input from the gathered friends (most likely these friends are the daughters of Jerusalem who are friends with the woman.) And here they give their approval of the wedding of their friend to the king.

One of the most tragic situations for newlyweds (and it happens more than it should) is when one of the partners decides that friends of the spouse are no longer needed – that the new husband and wife should be able to be all that the partner needs. The truth is that in a healthy marriage, the support of friends (real friends that are willing to question us when we are being stupid) is just not optional. It is essential.

Tomorrow’s Scripture Reading: Song of Songs 2

Personal Note: Happy 18th Kenzie