These are the regulations the LORD gave Moses concerning relationships between a man and his wife, and between a father and his young daughter still living at home. – Numbers 30:16

Today’s Scripture Reading (November 16, 2018): Numbers 30

When must a woman obey her husband? I was asked the question recently by a young man who was in the midst of planning his wedding. I have to admit that the question caught me a little off guard. I turned my focus to him and gave him a lecture about marriage that is based on compromise. My argument was that in all things, a husband and wife have to be willing to have a conversation, or even an argument, about the important things of life. But in the end, both sides have to be willing to move to some middle ground, or if it is appropriate, agree that in this instance, they are going to have to be comfortable with the disagreement.

But my young friend was not satisfied. Surely there must be some issues, important issues, in which the opinion of the man takes precedence over that of the woman. And again, I argued that there just weren’t any issues in which the opinion of the man is more important than that of the women based solely on gender. In fact, the reverse was actually true. On the important issues, it is even more essential that a husband and wife find some middle ground on which they can stand together, even in their moments of disagreements. The reality is that there are times when either the husband or wife should have the final say. And these are on subjects on which one has some greater knowledge or expertise, and cannot be based solely on the gender of the participants.

And then there was my friend’s last argument; what does the Bible say? And the reality is that the Bible holds to three stages of womanhood. During the first stage, she is young and under the authority of her father. During her second stage, she is older and under the authority of her husband. And it is not until she reaches the final stage of her life that she finally reaches a point of self-determination. Self-determination only happens after the woman loses her husband, either because her husband has died or because he has divorced her.

But what we often miss is that this was a cultural understanding that dominated all nations at the time that the Bible was in the process of being written. It was just considered to be the way that the world worked. Today, we do not have that understanding. Our culture has changed. And that fact begins a second argument, does culture have authority over the Bible. To answer the question, we have to go back to the general thrust of the Bible. Is the biblical stance on the status of women consistent with the general thrust of its teaching, or is it a concession to culture and the hardness of our hearts? And I believe that, in this case, the second statement is true; these teachings about the status of women are concessions the Bible makes to culture.

To back that idea, let me highlight two scriptures. In the great creation story of Genesis 1, we have this statement.  

            So God created mankind in his own image,
                        in the image of God he created them;
                        male and female he created them (Genesis 1:27).

We are created in the image of God, and this is true of all of us, both males and females. The word “mankind” here is not a statement of gender; it includes both men and women. And this message is stressed by the apostle Paul. “There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus” (Galatians 3:28). There is a radical equality between the sexes, an equality that culture has traditionally ignored. But if we want to know what the Bible says about gender relations outside of cultural forces, it is simply this – we are equal, and there is no difference in authority between us.

Tomorrow’s Scripture Reading: Numbers 31