Monday, 8 January 2018

Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. – 1 Corinthians 7:5


Today’s Scripture Reading (January 8, 2018): 1 Corinthians 7

Johnny Carson once joked “I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.” Some things make life worth living. Sometimes I wonder, as I sit in the doctor’s office answering his questions if I need to pick up a few more vices. I don’t smoke or drink alcohol. I exercise regularly, setting a goal of 10,000 steps a day as measured by my step counter. I am starting a weightlifting regimen. But, there is always a but, I do like my Diet Coke (although not to the extent that President Trump apparently likes his – we can always find someone who is worse at our vices than we are), and the selfish part of me argues that I need to be allowed a few vices. So maybe if I told my Doctor that I drank and smoked, my caffeine intake wouldn’t look like such a problem.

I understand the Carson joke, but one element of it seems to stand out of place. My doctor talks to be about the dangers of smoking, drinking, rich food (a big risk at Christmas) and caffeine intake (which didn’t make Carson’s list of vices), but why did Carson decide to include sex. We are sexual beings, and we absolutely need touch. Maybe we need to be reminded of the dangers of promiscuity to our physical, social and spiritual health, but abstaining from sex and affection for our significant others, as well as simple non-sexual touch, is not healthy. We need it.

Paul talks to married couples, and his message is clear. Do not deprive each other, except by mutual consent and for a short period, of sexual contact. If sex is impossible, then find ways to express affection and romance to each other within a monogamous relationship. We need this to exist in health. Science reminds us of the fact that healthy sexual contact is one element in living a healthy and long life. Sex, especially within a committed marital relationship, should never be considered a vice. It is an element of healthy living.  

Paul’s only exception when he speaks of our need for sexual contact is the few who are gifted to be able to do without sex, of which he considers himself one. And this exception has created a puzzle for those of us reading his writing. One possibility might be that Paul was same-sex attracted, and given the moral beliefs of the day, that kind of a relationship was impossible for Paul to act on. And so he is left without the affection and sexual contact that was both healthy and necessary for most of the people with whom Paul was dealing. This might have been Paul’s “thorn in the flesh” which God refused to remove. Of course, this is just conjecture. But whatever the reason, Paul stood outside the rest of humanity in that he could exist without the sexual contact that was normal and healthy for the rest of us. But his plea, in spite of his personal situation, was to remind all the married couples who would read his words that sex was both healthy and necessary. He hoped that they would not deprive each other of an element of life that could bring satisfaction and happiness, and serve as a way to defeat the sexual temptations that exist all around us.

Tomorrow’s Scripture Reading: 1 Corinthians 8 & 9

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