Today’s Scripture Reading (August 16,
2016): Proverbs 2
Money, sex, and communication. The order might change,
but the reason for most divorces is summed up by one or a combination of these
things. And the problem with each one of them is that, while we think we
understand all three of them, the reality is that all three are a bit of a
mystery. Oh, we would never admit that in public, but deep down we know that it
is the truth. I have often oversimplified our problem with money by saying that
getting rich is easy – spend less than you make. But it is the truth. If you want
to be rich, reign in your desires at the beginning. Spend less than you make
and put that money to work for you. Find a good financial adviser. Dave Ramsay
calls it “living like no one else (within the confines of what we make) so that
we can live like no one else (be rich).” Millionaire status is well within the
realm of expectations for most of the people in our culture – as long as you
start early and handle your money right.
Sex and
communication are more closely related than we sometimes want to admit. If
there is no communication in a marriage, then
the sexual relationship is in trouble. We want sex to be nothing more than a
physical part of our relationship. But it is so much more. Real physical love
exists more between our ears than in any other part of the body. Without
communication, there is no real physical love.
Maybe it
works the other way as well. Without sex, communication suffers. Real
communication might be impossible. Yes, I know there are exceptions, but I
believe this is true for most couples, especially younger couples.
This is why
we divorce. Money, sex or communication. If you are going through a divorce,
let me ask you which one of these areas is your weak area. But I want to remind
you of something else. Marriage was never about what you feel. Marriage, even
in Western culture, was never about love. Love is an emotion and it comes and
goes. Satan makes you believe that your marriage is all about love. But if you
commit yourselves to fix your economic situation, if you are willing to work
and fix your sex life or work and improve your communication skills, you will
watch the love come back. The substance of marriage is your commitment to your
spouse. Every time someone stands in front of me with the idea that today they
are going to get married, I remind them that this is not about an emotion that
is here today, and seemingly gone tomorrow. As they stand in front of me, they
are making a choice. It is not that they will never meet anyone else who could
meet their needs. They are saying that they are choosing this person to be the
one who will meet those needs and that
they will meet their needs. They are making a commitment to them.
But Solomon
asks us to recognize something else. The commitment that a married couple makes
to each other is also being made to God. The author of Ecclesiastes writes it
this way. Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves. A cord
of three strands is
not quickly broken (Ecclesiastes 4:12). Three strands – you, your spouse
and God. To break that relationship means that you are breaking your commitment
with your spouse, but you are also breaking the commitment you have made with
God. God never gives up on us, why should we give up on each other.
Tomorrow’s Scripture Reading:
Proverbs 3
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