If a woman living with her husband makes a vow or obligates herself by a pledge under oath and her husband hears about it but says nothing to her and does not forbid her, then all her vows or the pledges by which she obligated herself will stand. – Numbers 30:10-11

Today's Scripture Reading (February 10, 2025): Numbers 30

"As long as you live under my roof, you live under my rules." I am unsure if I ever said that to my kids growing up, but I might have thought it a few times. The idea is that since I am paying the bills, and you are living here using my money, then I get to dictate the rules of the house. This would only come into play if some reasonably major issues had arisen in the house. Having said that, I have never said those words to my wife, and I would not recommend anyone trying to speak them to your significant other. Passages like this are what make some biblical passages hard to read in our contemporary society. Some might want to live in a world where the man rules the roost with an iron fist, but that isn't our cultural understanding. It is not that the biblical encouragement about the relationship between the sexes is right and we are wrong, or even the reverse. It is simply different. This rule simplified things 3000 years ago. Today, my advice for a man or woman would be to not make a vow before checking with your spouse. It is a conversation that my wife and I have frequently. My wife and I have discussed the amount of our tithe check or a year-end donation. If we are committing to do something, we talk about it. And in those rare times when we didn't speak, I usually wish we had. Neither way is correct; it is just different. 

Maybe the best biblical example of this principle is seen in the life of Hannah, the mother of Samuel, and the story of Samuel's birth. Hannah makes a vow to live as a Nazirite through her pregnancy. Elkanah, her husband, hears of the vow but does not tell his wife that he opposes her decision. The result of the vow would mean that Hannah would not consume alcohol during her pregnancy. In this, Samuel's mom was ahead of her time; the non-consumption of alcohol during pregnancy is now a recommended practice in our society. But Hannah would also be vowing not to cut her hair or to go near a dead body. All of these practices were part of the Nazirite vow. It was a time of dedication and self-denial. We do not read that Elkanah supported his wife or joined with her in this vow, but he remained silent which, according to Numbers, meant that he was permitting his wife to go through with the vow. 

She did. And that vow was not completed until the moment that she presented Samuel to Eli, the High Priest. 

After he was weaned, she took the boy with her, young as he was, along with a three-year-old bull, an ephah of flour and a skin of wine, and brought him to the house of the LORD at Shiloh. When the bull had been sacrificed, they brought the boy to Eli, and she said to him, "Pardon me, my lord. As surely as you live, I am the woman who stood here beside you praying to the LORD. I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the LORD. For his whole life he will be given over to the LORD." And he worshiped the LORD there (1 Samuel 1:24-28).

Tomorrow's Scripture Reading: Numbers 31