Today’s Scripture Reading (January 17, 2026): Song of Songs 2
For a while, I lived in the basement of an official who often performed
marriages. While I lived in his basement, several couples chose to marry in his
well backyard. That meant that I had the opportunity to play the part of the
Best Man, for a price. I don’t know how many men I stood beside as the Bride
and Groom took their vows and then signed the marriage license as a witness.
Somewhere, there are several marriage documents containing my signature; who
knows how many of those couples are still together.
My parents
have been married for sixty-six years (as of their last anniversary in June
2025). In our world, sixty-six years of marriage is a significant achievement.
No marriage is easy; they all come with problems and difficulties that must be
overcome. I have tried to determine how long the average marriage lasts and
have found substantial contradictory evidence. But as close as I can figure
out, there are two very different numbers. Including all marriages, those that
end in divorce as well as those that end with the death of a spouse, the
average length of these marriages is approximately 20 years, perhaps slightly
shorter. The average person who makes the commitment and says “I do” in a
ceremony, whether in a church, courthouse, or even in a stranger’s backyard,
can expect to remain together for about 20 years.
But there
is a second question. For those who marry and that marriage does not last until
one spouse dies, but instead ends in divorce, how long do those marriages last?
And the answer to that question is about eight years. Most marriages that end
in divorce last fewer than 10 years. And there is a reason for that length of
time—the brain hormone phenethylamine governs romantic love. Phenethylamine has
a cycle. At the beginning of a relationship, there is a significant spike in
this hormone, but like many hormones, phenethylamine has a best-before date.
After about four or five years, it begins to decrease, and if the couple has
not built other reasons to stay together, they often don’t. In almost all
cultures, there is a sharp increase in divorce rates that begins at about four
and a half years.
The bride
in the story of the Song of Songs remarks that she is “faint with love.” What
she is talking about is the effects of phenethylamine. She says that she wants
her beloved to bring her raisins and fruit to give her strength. But the
reality might be that she hopes this feeling will last for a long time, or at
least long enough to build other ties with the one whom she loves.
Tomorrow’s
Scripture Reading: Song of Songs 3
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